True Stories

...That are funnier the less you know. But people almost always ask for explanations and it's just like when someone doesn't understand a joke and it just ruins it. So maybe from now on I will just not elucidate.


Late one Friday night, one rugby player tackled another rugby player and held him down so I could pet the said tackled player's hair. I declined.

At some relatively rural Burger King somewhere outside of Buffalo, NY, I was sitting and eating with friends when suddenly a trout dropped into my lap. (I very politely returned the trout and went back to eating.)

One day I went to the park and got a personal bagpipe concert.

I was sitting with my boyfriend and he got up, so I asked him to get me a drink of water. He came back a minute or two later (without water), deposited a puppy in my lap, and walked back out.

I came home from a class late one night and was tackled to the floor by a hysterical Norwegian nearly as soon as I got through the door.

I accidentally broke into the library and only realized that I'd done so when the person I thought was a librarian turned out to be on the custodial staff.