15 January 2012

Constitutional Amendment Pick-Up Lines

"Why are we doing this and why are we so good at it?!"

As I was sitting with some friends and my mother, the subject of constitutional amendments came up. Because of who we are and the mood we were in, pick-up lines started flowing to the point where we decided to make pick-up lines based on ALL of the amendments.

Some are a stretch, some focus on the piddling bits of the amendment rather than the overall theme, some parts have (many) more than one. Some are sleazy, some are cheesy, all are...well, interesting. We had fun, though, and I found myself wishing that I had this list available to me back in school when I had to memorise all of the amendments for exams.

Please do keep in mind that this is us being silly and having fun, not trying to be politically accurate or at all serious. Do comment with any more you dream up and feel free to ask questions about our line of thought!

So, without delay and with no further ado, I present to you pick-up lines of the U.S. Constitutional Amendments.

  1.  I’m glad there’s freedom of religion ‘cause I worship you.
    • Tonight I will be exercising my freedom of assembly…outside your bedroom window.
    • Let me press myself against you, you can’t stop me…it’s my constitutional right.
    • You have the right to protest but I don’t think you’ll want to.
    • I’ll have you exercising your right to free speech all night long
  2. The government gives you the right to bare your arms but I give you the right to bare everything else.
  3. The gov’ment can quarter you in my house any time, soldja’
  4. You don’t need a permit to search my pants and seize whatever you find.
  5. If you ask me if I love you I’ll have to plead the 5th.  Don’t want to incriminate myself.
    • Because of my rights related to eminent domain, you have to compensate me for stealing my heart.
    • The grand jury in my pants is waiting to try you.
    • You put my heart in double jeopardy
    • There’s too much power in my pants that needs to be balanced.  Will you help me release it?
    • We’ll have a balance on powers. You can be on top.
    • I’ll do your process.
    • The powers of the federal government aren’t the only things that need separated.
  6. Hey baby, are you ready for your trial?  I’m afraid it has to be a speedy one.
    • I’d try to give you a fair trial but you have no peers.
  7. Wanna meet the foreman of my jury?
  8. I’m arresting you for breaking the 8th amendment because you...are excessively fine!
  9. When we get back to my place I’m going to do everything to you that your government can’t.
  10. The Constitution limits the powers of the government but the powers of my pants are unlimited!
  11. If you declare me sovereign of your pants I promise I can do no wrong.
  12. You can be my mate but we won’t be doing any running.  ;)
  13. I’ll be your slave, it’s okay, it’s not involuntary.
  14. I’m a man without a country.  Can I be a citizen of you?
  15. The 15th Amendment gives the right to vote to anyone with a penis…I’ll loan you mine.
  16. You forgot to pay your income tax so I’m coming to seize your ASSets.
  17. I’ve been directly elected to fill the vacancy in your senate!
  18. They can prohibit my alcohol, you intoxicate me enough.
  19. Now you don’t need a penis to vote…but you can still borrow mine.
  20. The inauguration of the new president may come quickly but I won’t!
  21. Hey the alcohol’s back!  Now let’s get drunk and screw.
    • Let’ put the screw back in screwdriver.
    • Whooo! Party like it’s 1933!!!!
  22. Baby I can last for waaaayyyy more than 2 terms.
  23. I have a district that has been underrepresented in Congress with you, but the 23rd Amendment now says I need to be let in.
  24. You can pay the poll tax personally with me.
  25. I wish I were the Speaker of the House and you the President Pro Temp of the Senate so I could be above you in the “order of succession.”
    • You don’t have to wait for succession, you’re first in line for me.
    • If you’re incapacitated can I have a list of you next 3 hottest friends?
    • Well now at least we know who’s above who.
    • Do you have a little sister?
  26. 18 year olds can exercise their rights in government and on me!
    • The government is okay with 18 year olds and so am I!
  27. You don’t need to wait until the next session, you can give me a raise any time.

1 comment:

Hi! Thank you for commenting! I truly do look forward to reading it (: